The OFFICIAL programming thread
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Boooooooooooooo !!!
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Yeah, lawyer jokes are funnier.
- The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused. “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.” “What’s the good news?” “Your cholesterol is 130.” 3. A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. 4. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark. 5. Someone mistakenly left the cages open in the Reptile House at the zoo, and there were snakes slithering all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tried everything but couldn’t get the slippery animals back into their cages. Finally, he yelled, “Quick, call a lawyer!” “A lawyer? Why?” “We need someone who speaks their language.”
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At least we know how to use paragraphs.
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Why did the picture get arrested?
It got framed.
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What do you call a bear without an ear?
b
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When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
♙♙♙ Michael Waltz added you to the group.
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@pakoon said in The OFFICIAL programming thread:
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
I am so stealing that one for my quotes.txt.
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I am so asking Putin to nuke Finland now to make it stop!
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@gators1 said in The OFFICIAL programming thread:
I am so asking Putin to nuke Finland now to make it stop!
Beware of their mobile saunas.
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What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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@pakoon said in The OFFICIAL programming thread:
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up. But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
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This warning was not always true and the word Shareware came to be.
Cir: 1989
GTFO
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@tazz It’s a pity more companies don’t release free demos (similar to shareware) on Steam. I’ve lost track of the number of games that I bought because they had “Overwhelmingly positive” reviews only to discover they sucked ass (maybe just not my taste). I did some research on why demos aren’t more common and the conventional markiting advice is not to do demos because it hurts sales.
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Iirc you can return the games withing X hours for free, no?
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@tazz said in The OFFICIAL programming thread:
This warning was not always true and the word Shareware came to be.
Cir: 1989
not quite the same thing but it made me think of …
If no set of moral ideas were truer or better than any other, there would be no sense in preferring civilized morality to savage morality, or Christian morality to Nazi morality. In fact, of course, we all do believe that some moralities are better than others . . . . The moment you say that one set of moral ideas can be better than another, you are, in fact, measuring them both by a standard . . . admitting that there is such a thing as a real Right, independent of what people think, and that some people's ideas get nearer to that real Right than others."
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@tigger said in The OFFICIAL programming thread:
Iirc you can return the games withing X hours for free, no?
Yeah I think Steam’s return policy is pretty generous. Maybe it’s a personality fault,but I don’t like returning stuff (in person or online). Unless it is obviously faulty or falsely advertised then I just wear it. Caveat emptor.
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Amazon Women on the Moon - Video Pirates
